Meet and Greet The Owners and Presidents of Serie A
Because Milanisti are such gracious hosts, Milan Insider Matteo Bonetti
takes a few moments to reflect on the owners and presidents who would be
there as peers looking out for the welfare of new American owner Thomas
DiBenedetto. Matteo offers some key talking points to help the
prospective AS Roma owner adjust to his new surroundings in Serie A. Buona Fortuna!
Napoli: Aurelio De Laurentiis
Pros: Flamboyant movie producer who loves to field a highly entertaining side. Lifted Napoli out of ineptitude and made key signings. Easily spotted in the crowd with his signature metallic Moncler jackets.
Cons: Rubs his players the wrong way at times. Makes outlandish statements in the media, often undermining other teams or players. Still can't figure out what the purpose was for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow beyond getting Jude Law another paycheck.
Juventus: Andrea Agnelli
Pros: If the Juventus and FIAT gigs don't work, Rogaine offered him a contract. Bright future as long as he can keep Luciano Moggi out of Torino.
Cons: On the board of FIAT, which produces vehicles that are made from tin cans and break down easier than Buffon. Italy's version of a Kia.
Lazio: Claudio Lotito
Pros: Banned from football for more than two years during the Calciopoli scandal. Laziali will tell you this period was a positive.
Cons: Often likes speaking in Latin during his five minute interview monologues, comfortably ignorant in that absolutely nobody other than three High School Latin teachers understand what he is talking about. So cheap that there are tiny restaurants in Moldova that spend more on their workforce.
Fiorentina: Diego and Andrea Della Valle
Pros: Also owners of the popular Italian shoe company Tods. Created a squad that consistently challenged for the fourth spot in the Serie A. Team has distinctive and stylish kits, and their teams generally play adventurous football until Sinisa Mihajlovic arrived.
Cons: Everyone agrees that Tods are overpriced.
Palermo: Maurizio Zamparini
Pros: One of the most outspoken owners in the football world who entertains Italy whenever someone puts a microphone in close proximity. Has an eerie resemblance to Antonio Cassano in about 40 years (see: Bari)
Cons: Absolutely insane. Changes coaches more often than his wingbacks change jockstraps. Infamous for publicly embarrassing his staff members, firing them, only to re-hire them a few weeks later when he realizes the new hiring is a massive failure ... then re-firing the original coach yet again only to continue this vicious cycle. Needs medication.
Parma: Tommaso Ghirardi
Pros: Decided that the business model for running Parma would be somewhere along the lines of, "Purchase every single possible failure/player who didn't live up to expectations at Juventus" and cross your fingers. Loves pasta carbonara, apparently.
Cons: If he wasn't running Parma, he'd probably be working for Buddy in The Cake Boss series on The Learning Channel.
Bologna: Marco Di Vaio, by default
Pros: No one is quite sure who owns Bologna.
Cons: No one is quite sure who owns Bologna.
AC Milan: Silvio Berlusconi
Pros: One of the greatest football owners of our times. The Italian Prime Minister, and also a business mogul and billionaire. Singlehandedly turned Milan into a decade long spectacle, winning five Champions Leagues in his reign as President. Produced a beautiful daughter, Barbara, who was quickly snapped up by Pato.
Cons: Has a penchant for agitating journalists, political opponents and the occasional prosecutor; once got hit in the face by a small Duomo replica.
Inter Milan: Massimo Moratti
Pros: Oil tycoon who loves massively overspending for average players. Proved to be the king of unintentional comedy for decades until Inter finally started winning. Amuses one half of Milan by flapping his arms during victories like an escaped mental patient, but this scared away Jose Mourinho who thought he was becoming deranged.
Cons: Rejected as the lead spokesman for Crest Whitening Strips. Apparently the FIGC was contemplating whether to switch referee's yellow cards with a high definition photograph of Moratti's rotten smile. Unfortunately, this plan was voted "Nay" by 3/5'ths majority. Looks like the grim reaper. Smells of cigars and mothballs.
Napoli: Aurelio De Laurentiis
Pros: Flamboyant movie producer who loves to field a highly entertaining side. Lifted Napoli out of ineptitude and made key signings. Easily spotted in the crowd with his signature metallic Moncler jackets.
Cons: Rubs his players the wrong way at times. Makes outlandish statements in the media, often undermining other teams or players. Still can't figure out what the purpose was for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow beyond getting Jude Law another paycheck.
Juventus: Andrea Agnelli
Pros: If the Juventus and FIAT gigs don't work, Rogaine offered him a contract. Bright future as long as he can keep Luciano Moggi out of Torino.
Cons: On the board of FIAT, which produces vehicles that are made from tin cans and break down easier than Buffon. Italy's version of a Kia.
Lazio: Claudio Lotito
Pros: Banned from football for more than two years during the Calciopoli scandal. Laziali will tell you this period was a positive.
Cons: Often likes speaking in Latin during his five minute interview monologues, comfortably ignorant in that absolutely nobody other than three High School Latin teachers understand what he is talking about. So cheap that there are tiny restaurants in Moldova that spend more on their workforce.
Fiorentina: Diego and Andrea Della Valle
Pros: Also owners of the popular Italian shoe company Tods. Created a squad that consistently challenged for the fourth spot in the Serie A. Team has distinctive and stylish kits, and their teams generally play adventurous football until Sinisa Mihajlovic arrived.
Cons: Everyone agrees that Tods are overpriced.
Palermo: Maurizio Zamparini
Pros: One of the most outspoken owners in the football world who entertains Italy whenever someone puts a microphone in close proximity. Has an eerie resemblance to Antonio Cassano in about 40 years (see: Bari)
Cons: Absolutely insane. Changes coaches more often than his wingbacks change jockstraps. Infamous for publicly embarrassing his staff members, firing them, only to re-hire them a few weeks later when he realizes the new hiring is a massive failure ... then re-firing the original coach yet again only to continue this vicious cycle. Needs medication.
Parma: Tommaso Ghirardi
Pros: Decided that the business model for running Parma would be somewhere along the lines of, "Purchase every single possible failure/player who didn't live up to expectations at Juventus" and cross your fingers. Loves pasta carbonara, apparently.
Cons: If he wasn't running Parma, he'd probably be working for Buddy in The Cake Boss series on The Learning Channel.
Bologna: Marco Di Vaio, by default
Pros: No one is quite sure who owns Bologna.
Cons: No one is quite sure who owns Bologna.
AC Milan: Silvio Berlusconi
Pros: One of the greatest football owners of our times. The Italian Prime Minister, and also a business mogul and billionaire. Singlehandedly turned Milan into a decade long spectacle, winning five Champions Leagues in his reign as President. Produced a beautiful daughter, Barbara, who was quickly snapped up by Pato.
Cons: Has a penchant for agitating journalists, political opponents and the occasional prosecutor; once got hit in the face by a small Duomo replica.
Inter Milan: Massimo Moratti
Pros: Oil tycoon who loves massively overspending for average players. Proved to be the king of unintentional comedy for decades until Inter finally started winning. Amuses one half of Milan by flapping his arms during victories like an escaped mental patient, but this scared away Jose Mourinho who thought he was becoming deranged.
Cons: Rejected as the lead spokesman for Crest Whitening Strips. Apparently the FIGC was contemplating whether to switch referee's yellow cards with a high definition photograph of Moratti's rotten smile. Unfortunately, this plan was voted "Nay" by 3/5'ths majority. Looks like the grim reaper. Smells of cigars and mothballs.
Bari: Vincenzo Matarrese
Pros: The Matarrese family has owned the club for over three decades, having one of the biggest stadiums in the Serie A.
Cons: Tried selling the club on multiple occasions which angered the fanbase, and had a poor relationship with Bari's version of The Messiah, Antonio Cassano.
Catania: Antonio Pulvirenti
Pros: Owner of Wind Jet, a low cost airline, and lifelong fan of Catania. Sits with the players during games, and is as passionate as an owner can get about his team.
Cons: To say Catania's jerseys are an abomination is a compliment. An ice-pop from hell highlighted by an awkward mixture of blood red with sky blue, accentuated with bizarre black socks that don't fit the scheme. On top of that their symbol involves an elephant. This would only make sense if that particular animal species migrated to Africa from Sicily, which is apparently not the case, unless I missed something in 8th grade Biology class. If Pulvirenti was a proactive owner, he'd change the symbol of the team from that an elephant to the menacing volcano that hugs the shores of Catania. That's taking the bull by the horns, Antonio.
Chievo: Luca Campadelli
Pros: Became an owner at the age of 23 which made him the youngest in Serie A history. Looks like Harry Potter, although this could also be seen as a con. His family produces the famous Italian treat Pandoro and Panettone.
Cons: Gave Tommaso Ghirardi a lifetime supply of Panettone, which explains why the Parma owner has taken on the appearance of Chris Farley. Inexplicably gave money to Moscardelli, placing him alongside Kevin Constant and Sergio Pellissier for an attack that could be described as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. You figure out which is which.
Cagliari: Massimo Cellino
Pros: Another President hailing from the same Island where his team plays. Cellino gave up the rolling hills of Sardenia to go live in Miami. Since buying the team in 1992, Cellino has kept the modest side in the top flight for 12 years, and even led them to a Europa League appearance.
Cons: Promised the fans a new stadium, since their current one is comparable to my old High School lacrosse stadium, which was built right after Columbus discovered America. Goes through coaches like Tommaso Ghirardi goes through jars of Nutella.
Roma: Rosella Sensi
Pros: The only woman to operate a club in Serie A, but UniCredit cut off her spending privileges (pictured above: fading fast, blowing kisses).
Cons: The fans haven't taken too kindly to Rosella's stint as owner, often bringing Anti-Sensi banners to the stadium. Then again Roma fans are absolutely insane and will even bring an anti-Padre Pio poster to the stadium if they feel the need. When she leaves two Stadio Olympico employees will find themselves out of work as there will no longer be a mountain of spent cigarette butts in the owner's box where Rosella sits.
Udinese: Giampaolo Pozzo
Pros: Transformed Udinese into one of the most entertaining teams in all of Europe this year, led by the bizarre strike rate of their old captain, Antonio Di Natale and electrifying Chilean Alexis Sanchez. If Pozzo can resist the tempting lavish offers that will be coming his way this summer for Sanchez, then he will be adored by the fans.
Cons: The only president in the Serie A who watches games from a luxury box. Has had a selling mentality ever since coming into power. Despite this, often fields competitive sides but will never challenge for a Scudetto.
Brescia: Luigi Corioni
Pros: Any owner who can say Roberto Baggio played on his team deserves lifelong bragging rights and plenty of attention from the opposite sex. Finally guided Brescia to Serie A ...
Cons: ... which disappointed the fanbase almost immediately because they had no chance of survival. Owns the team with the most number of years spent in Italian Serie B. Having been the owner of a company based in furnishing bathrooms, he should be aware that half of his active roster should be flushed down the toilet.
Cesena: Igor Campedelli
Pros: Little is known about this President except that he was born in Cesena and chased his childhood dream of owning the side. Can be proud to say he owns one of the few teams in Serie A that don't have that obscene track and field course hugging the stadium borders. Put together an exciting team that always produces entertaining games and has a loyal fan base that gives it a very English feel.
Cons: Unfortunately, the city of Cesena is roughly the size of a dozen Mini Cooper's put together, so his team would never be expected to compete for much more than a spot outside the relegation zone.
Lecce: Pierandrea Semeraro
Pros: The young, stylish recently appointed owner of Lecce (no, not the milk) is another mysterious figure who doesn't cause much commotion in Italy.
Cons: Looks like Frankie Carbone from GoodFellas, although this could also be seen as a positive.
Genoa: Enrico Preziosi
Pros: King of unintentional comedy by slapping Cristian Panucci (see: below) in the face during a heated argument. Known as one of the most knowledgeable football owners who also makes signings by himself.
Cons: Takes the phrase "wheeler and dealer" to an artform, using words like "persuade" and "encourage" way too much, usually while wearing sunglasses which makes people uneasy. Set the record for number of squad changes this past year by completely redesigning Genoa halfway through the season. Also acts similarly in restaurants, where he becomes every waiter's worst nightmare.
Pros: The Matarrese family has owned the club for over three decades, having one of the biggest stadiums in the Serie A.
Cons: Tried selling the club on multiple occasions which angered the fanbase, and had a poor relationship with Bari's version of The Messiah, Antonio Cassano.
Catania: Antonio Pulvirenti
Pros: Owner of Wind Jet, a low cost airline, and lifelong fan of Catania. Sits with the players during games, and is as passionate as an owner can get about his team.
Cons: To say Catania's jerseys are an abomination is a compliment. An ice-pop from hell highlighted by an awkward mixture of blood red with sky blue, accentuated with bizarre black socks that don't fit the scheme. On top of that their symbol involves an elephant. This would only make sense if that particular animal species migrated to Africa from Sicily, which is apparently not the case, unless I missed something in 8th grade Biology class. If Pulvirenti was a proactive owner, he'd change the symbol of the team from that an elephant to the menacing volcano that hugs the shores of Catania. That's taking the bull by the horns, Antonio.
Chievo: Luca Campadelli
Pros: Became an owner at the age of 23 which made him the youngest in Serie A history. Looks like Harry Potter, although this could also be seen as a con. His family produces the famous Italian treat Pandoro and Panettone.
Cons: Gave Tommaso Ghirardi a lifetime supply of Panettone, which explains why the Parma owner has taken on the appearance of Chris Farley. Inexplicably gave money to Moscardelli, placing him alongside Kevin Constant and Sergio Pellissier for an attack that could be described as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. You figure out which is which.
Cagliari: Massimo Cellino
Pros: Another President hailing from the same Island where his team plays. Cellino gave up the rolling hills of Sardenia to go live in Miami. Since buying the team in 1992, Cellino has kept the modest side in the top flight for 12 years, and even led them to a Europa League appearance.
Cons: Promised the fans a new stadium, since their current one is comparable to my old High School lacrosse stadium, which was built right after Columbus discovered America. Goes through coaches like Tommaso Ghirardi goes through jars of Nutella.
Roma: Rosella Sensi
Pros: The only woman to operate a club in Serie A, but UniCredit cut off her spending privileges (pictured above: fading fast, blowing kisses).
Cons: The fans haven't taken too kindly to Rosella's stint as owner, often bringing Anti-Sensi banners to the stadium. Then again Roma fans are absolutely insane and will even bring an anti-Padre Pio poster to the stadium if they feel the need. When she leaves two Stadio Olympico employees will find themselves out of work as there will no longer be a mountain of spent cigarette butts in the owner's box where Rosella sits.
Udinese: Giampaolo Pozzo
Pros: Transformed Udinese into one of the most entertaining teams in all of Europe this year, led by the bizarre strike rate of their old captain, Antonio Di Natale and electrifying Chilean Alexis Sanchez. If Pozzo can resist the tempting lavish offers that will be coming his way this summer for Sanchez, then he will be adored by the fans.
Cons: The only president in the Serie A who watches games from a luxury box. Has had a selling mentality ever since coming into power. Despite this, often fields competitive sides but will never challenge for a Scudetto.
Brescia: Luigi Corioni
Pros: Any owner who can say Roberto Baggio played on his team deserves lifelong bragging rights and plenty of attention from the opposite sex. Finally guided Brescia to Serie A ...
Cons: ... which disappointed the fanbase almost immediately because they had no chance of survival. Owns the team with the most number of years spent in Italian Serie B. Having been the owner of a company based in furnishing bathrooms, he should be aware that half of his active roster should be flushed down the toilet.
Cesena: Igor Campedelli
Pros: Little is known about this President except that he was born in Cesena and chased his childhood dream of owning the side. Can be proud to say he owns one of the few teams in Serie A that don't have that obscene track and field course hugging the stadium borders. Put together an exciting team that always produces entertaining games and has a loyal fan base that gives it a very English feel.
Cons: Unfortunately, the city of Cesena is roughly the size of a dozen Mini Cooper's put together, so his team would never be expected to compete for much more than a spot outside the relegation zone.
Lecce: Pierandrea Semeraro
Pros: The young, stylish recently appointed owner of Lecce (no, not the milk) is another mysterious figure who doesn't cause much commotion in Italy.
Cons: Looks like Frankie Carbone from GoodFellas, although this could also be seen as a positive.
Genoa: Enrico Preziosi
Pros: King of unintentional comedy by slapping Cristian Panucci (see: below) in the face during a heated argument. Known as one of the most knowledgeable football owners who also makes signings by himself.
Cons: Takes the phrase "wheeler and dealer" to an artform, using words like "persuade" and "encourage" way too much, usually while wearing sunglasses which makes people uneasy. Set the record for number of squad changes this past year by completely redesigning Genoa halfway through the season. Also acts similarly in restaurants, where he becomes every waiter's worst nightmare.
sumber: http://www.beyondthepitch.net/articles/post/index.cfm/2011/04/14/meet-and-greet-the-owners-and-presidents-of-serie-a/
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